This is a discussion list for those in and around Missouri and Kansas interested in polyamory and various forms of responsible non-monogamy. This could be a great way for those of us in the area to talk about our lifestyle and meet other poly-minded people! This is not set in stone, so if you want to see this group form please contact Klumsy at clumsystar gateway. Once there are a few members, we hope to begin to have socials in some public place in Philipsburg. Please don’t bother to join if you are not living in or around this area. For those in, or wanting to be in, open marriage, bisexual, BDSM and other multi-adult relationships. Meetings will be non-sexually oriented. Some will be child friendly. Open discussion about love, jealousy, honesty, respect, time management, legalities, stress, values, s-e-x gasp! Open to those interested, looking or practicing.
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I felt the need to justify this — there was no room service at the hotel, I felt awkward eating alone in the lobby — but I was also enjoying his company, and it seemed, especially after all the interviewing I had been doing, that it was absurd to worry about something as safe as a meal with a man, also married, with whom I shared professional interests.
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Wikimedia Commons Today there are an increasing number of people who open up their relationships. But as witnessed by gloomy statistics, even those who cannot come to a reasonable agreement about what it means to see other people or who never have had that sort of relationship on their agenda are not always monogamous. Monogamy nowadays is at best defined as monogamy for a while—until the grass becomes greener on the other side of the fence and one or both of the involved parties terminate the relationship.
This is a common scenario for people in Western countries:
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By Gracie X For some people, perhaps, having an open marriage is a concession. Perhaps cheating comes to mind; you imagine that after infidelity, a couple has made a new vision of their marriage. These are marriages that “make- do” after the scar tissue has healed. But frankly, that isn’t the way it’s done in my polyamorous community , or my open marriage.
My situation is not at all about concessions. For me, sex with someone else is not a deal breaker. Being intentionally cruel, not taking care of our family, disrespecting me, and lying — all constitute deal breakers. But occasionally “stepping out ” may just be part of our biology. Right now, my marriage is mostly closed. Our lives are tremendously time-challenged. We have four kids and busy careers. But having some openness is one of many ingredients that keep the erotic life active in our marriage.
Nature versus nurture Certain characteristics may be innate in humans; these characteristics may be modified by the physical and social environment in which people interact. The sexual drive affects the development of personal identity and social activities. Freud believed sexual drives are instinctive. He was a firm supporter of the nature argument; he said there are a large number of instincts but they are reduced into two broad groups: Eros the life instinct , which comprises the self-preserving and erotic instincts, and Thanatos the death instinct , which comprises instincts invoking aggression, self-destruction, and cruelty.
His instinct theory said humans are driven from birth by the desire to acquire and enhance bodily pleasures, thus supporting the nature debate.
Recently, my husband and I discussed what we would “allow” each other on separate upcoming business trips.
Most people who come to this site are looking for information on the polyamorous lifestyle. I highly recommend one of these Books on Polyamory to see if you are ready to forge ahead in building your poly lovestyle, or just so you can better understand the poly lovestyle in general. I started off with this book: I also highly highly recommend this book on how to build spirit centered relationships. I can be serious, yet fun, deep yet laugh, mature, yet child like.
I’m very diverse in that way. I’m not one thing or another. For all of the people not familiar with the net, when you see a word or sentence that is underlined, please wave your mouse over it to see if it is a link you can access. Generally it is a different colour than the rest of the sentence. Because of the word “sensual”, most of my e-mails get caught up in the spam filters.
The links on the left are various different sites for polyamorous groups, business opportunities, biamorous information, health and beauty, dating sites etc.
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Remember what Virginia Wolf [sic] said?
Because she is important. Clinging to that illusion, neither partner really sees the other, or even acknowledges that the other has hidden, private selves. Implicit in the arrangement was the understanding that each person has an alternative self; and yet it was all in the name of the kind of committed relationship that Mitchell believed would yield the most happiness and personal growth.
I started to feel less baffled by the boldness they were showing in opening up their marriages, and more questioning of my own total aversion to the possibility. In interview transcripts, I saw that I was forever apologizing for my own conventionality. I felt, at times, that I was a rusty caliper, trying to take the measurement of some kind of advanced nanotechnology.
I was a blunt instrument, or a chipped mirror: Where I discerned motives of retaliation or evening of scores, I was told to see generosity and understanding. Where I read humiliation into a situation, the people I was interviewing saw a kind of expansive love that defied pride, possessiveness, traditional notions of masculinity and ownership. I kept wanting to define terms — but who is your primary? Whom would you choose in the event of conflicting needs? My instructors were patient but resolute in their overarching easygoingness: It works out, and when it does not, we talk about it and are better for it.
Open marriages, I started to think, are not just for people who were more interested in sex, but also for people who were more interested in people, more willing to tolerate the inevitable unpacking conversations, the gentle making of amends, the late-night breakdowns and emotional work of recommitting to and delighting each other.
Women Looking For Relationship
I am 34 years old, divorced four years. I was married for ten years, have four beautiful boys under 9 and have a very fulfilling and successful career. My life is happy, but I really would love to share it with someone… but dating when you have FOUR kids is like the Mt Everest of the dating world! It seems almost impossible for men to see past that.
Primarily, we are a social gro
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Cache Valley Polyamory Apr 8 – created by Blue , 5 likes, 4 followers, 2 members, 42 views Cache Valley Polyamory is a social and support group for folks currently engaging in polyamory, dating people who are polyamorous, or want to learn more about polyamory. Primarily, we are a social gro Primarily, we are a social group to encourage more interactions with other poly people in Cache Valley!
We have a facebook group we use more but it is secret to protect people in the closet so please let one of the admins know if you would like an invite.
Even the thought of being naked in front of someone new gave him pause.
New Poly oriented dating site! As a follow-up to my article about OkCupid! I wanted to let you all know about a new dating site: FREE memberships to be able to browse other members! Comprehensive and easy to use web platform! Wide variety of personal interest selections! Straight foward activation and deactivation of membership! Password protect your photos with FREE membership! Offering broad and in-depth resources!
They have been advertising pretty heavily on forums and message boards lately and the site is apparently pretty new. I signed up on the site and gave it a once over and things looked pretty good.
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That means less time spent replying to people you may not be the best match with, and more time finding the discreet relationship you really want.
The best reporting on social science statistics, like the best reporting in most areas, comes from The Onion: What do you think of this? And that standard of whiteness not only erases the experience of people of color; it reflects the actual exclusion of these people in poly life and communities. But it seems to eventually settle on a thesis that black people really are strongly underrepresented.
For the record, here is a small sample of other communities where black people are strongly underrepresented: Occupy Wall Street protesters unknown but low, one source says 1.
When we say, “a lot”, we mean in the tens of thousands. This is what we have learned about images over the last decade. Yes, you may be shy or have some other reason to why you choose not to add a personal picture into your bio, but we can tell you what other members think when they do not see your image What is the point of having all of these other people in the photo? What is in the background? Are you in a space that a potential partner would want to be in as well?
That is why I advise our boys to read stories and watch movies more and to learn more beautiful phrases to tell girls.
SHARE In my practice as a relationship consultant and expert in polyamory, I routinely encounter people who love each other dearly and have drastically different relationship needs. Most often it is a man who wants to have a polyamorous relationship and a woman who wishes to remain monogamous, but sometimes it is the woman who wants to be poly and the man who is devoutly monogamous. In either case it can be extremely painful for both people. There are a few things to consider if you find yourself in this position.
Wikimedia Commons Excuse to leave? For some people, trying to open a relationship is the last gasp attempt to save it from breaking up. A few people in my year study of polyamorous families explained how becoming polyamorous saved their marriage from divorce , though they are in the minority. Unfortunately, becoming poly to avoid divorce works only extremely rarely, and far more often the relationship self-destructs more spectacularly than it may otherwise.
Because polyamory is so intense emotionally and requires such concentrated, compassionate communication, it can be difficult even for people in stable relationships that are not experiencing significant conflict. For those in high-conflict relationships, becoming polyamorous to save a relationship works about as well as having a baby to save a marriage—abysmally. Not only is your original relationship unlikely to survive the rigors of honest communication and complex feelings, but you will most likely hurt the other people you date in your polyamorous experimentation.
If you know things are really over, then break up with your former relationship completely and take a moment to catch your breath before plunging in to a poly relationship.